The rebel in my heart was hiding under the frustrated screams and shouts- trying to convince people to love in the face of non-love. She was masked by Rage left unexpressed, unwitnessed. She’s one of the most important pieces in who I be in the world. And I’m learning so much about her as I journey deeply into myself, and what I am learning my truth to be.
I no longer want to scream at my fellow humans-unaware and self-righteous. I no longer want to demand their change, no longer disempower myself by expecting them to alleviate my pain and fill me with love, expecting them to ‘fix’ the systems, or themselves. People are not broken. We are co-creating life with the ingredients in hand. Awareness is the key to conscious choice, elevating us from the fate of reaction.
I scream simply to bear witness to a beautiful piece of my soul. And I scream to teach others the joy of the freedom of this expression. I scream so Mother Earth can create life out of the parts of me I am courageously allowing to die, with the utmost honor and love for all that these parts have brought me to, and through.
Rather than perpetuating fear, anxiety, and contraction in my demands for love, I rebel-NOT AGAINST- but OUT OF these ancient patterns. I rebel INTO softness and compassion when all others- even my own ego- demand retribution, punishment-an old and deeply conditioned pattern. I expand when I can to hear all the voices, and listen to the deeper expressions of their hearts wanting to feel safe, loved, honored. I rebel into creating space where this is possible.
I rebel into inviting Shadow and fear to the table to be seen, heard, and dissolved with unconditional, RADICAL self-love and self-responsibility. I rebel into my own power to claim ownership of every single place I find myself in life, and choose my relationship to it. I rebel out of the story that I am a victim, that life is happening ‘to me’. I rebel into deep surrender of the pain that comes through me. Sometimes I feel beaten down into this surrender. Sometimes it’s so fucking hard that quitting just feels delightful. But this rebel heart keeps reigniting the fire to step into scary, enormous unknown darkness- beyond the hopelessness, Rage, rejection, and betrayal.
She keeps whispering, nudging, shouting at me to look into the void where there is no answer of who I get to be beyond limitation of what I’ve always known, where I’ve stayed comfortable and small. She won’t stand for me staying here. I rebel into welcoming those dark corners of what it means to be human so they will move through me, creating space for me to receive Divine love-no trace of unworthiness, not enough-ness, no stories about what I have or haven’t earned. It has taken deep, powerful, sometimes excruciating and long-awaited keys to unlock mere TASTES of this love, and my heart is committed to integrating this love into the world I create FULLY.
My act of Sacred Rebellion is to allow all the parts of me to the table to feast on acceptance and deep devotional love. When I feed and water it all with love rather than fear or control, the parts that do not elevate dissolve themselves, no 'work' or hyper-vigilance necessary. I set down the expectations placed upon me to reject, punish, or silence ANY part of me that has triggered fear, jealousy, smallness in another.
My act of Sacred Rebellion is to be the loving mirror for others to be triggered, activated into awakening the parts of Self that are unconditionally loving so they may Recover their own lost, abandoned and rejected parts back home to be the creative being we ALL are.
Through my own expression and Path, I humbly witness the inspiration it has provided others to re-member their own power. I see the light inside them grow bright again as they Recover their ability to be and create change rather than demand it from systems built on fear. I am inspired, hopeful, and overflowing with gifts to help quicken this awakening happening here on Mama Earth.
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